"Special Delivery" by Merrit Malloy

Your letter arrived this morning
Unexpected . . . and years too late

I crowded it into my jeans
Sure to cover the broad, familiar strokes of your pen
Black as billboards
. . . And
As distracting . . .

Damn you . . . Just showing up like this
uninvited . . .
indestructible . . .
unavoidable . . .
to leave your droppings
on a linen page
inside my pocket . . .

Each time the phone rang
It was an insult
Forcing me to fall back to the first word
And climb the pages again . . .

And in a way I'm proud . . .
That you could keep me all these years
It bring back some half-remembered pride I'd felt
In knowing that I knew it all along . . .
We grow to deserve
What we need to believe . . .
Since I've known you
I've been careful not to pray out loud
Wishes have a way of coming true
When you least expect . . . but

Damn you . . . Sneaking in like this
Unannounced
Insatiable
Inevitable
And me . . . with just
A sense of humor
To hold back the sound
of your footsteps
climbing the stair
just outside the safety
of my home . . .